Contentment vs. Moving Forward

If you know me, you know that I have always struggled with being content in the here and now.  It's not that I don't appreciate what I currently have, it's just that I am a huge lover of lists and checking things off the list.  I feel like in my life I have always been motivated to reach the next goal, get to the next level, check the next thing off my list.  I struggle with this though, because I currently wonder--is there ever going to be a time where I am not trying to get to the next level.  Is there a difference between being content with what I currently have and just enjoying it or do I constantly have to be thinking ahead to something new and different to keep myself moving forward. Like I said, the past couple of years have been a whirlwind.  They have been awesome, but there have been a lot of changes and now I am at a crossroads once again with if we should move to the suburbs or stay in the city for a couple more years.

Granted, the girls won't be going to school full-time for another three and a half years, but I am already started to stress out about the school process.  It is a crazy process in the city (even for preschool) and I'm just not sure that it is something that I want to take on, especially if I don't see us in the city long-term.

Also, the whole commute thing for Kevin is a big one--even on good days, he doesn't get home until 6 (at the earliest) which would make it pretty difficult for him to help out with sports teams or even see games, etc. in the future.  With me being at home, and him working in the suburbs, there isn't much of a reason to stay in the city other than that we really love it.

There is a ton to do, but as we are finding out, we use the city less and less now that we have kids.  We love to the restaurants and being able to walk down the street to have dinner and a few drinks, we love the parks, and the proximity to our friends.  We love the option to take cabs to go out for the night.  However, the one thing I am starting to wish we had a little more of was a sense of community.  I don't get that in the city.  I remember growing up everyone in the neighborhood going to the same school.  You just knew (aside from maybe a few kids in the neighborhood) who would be in your class.  In the city, EVERYONE goes to different schools.  Just in my group of friends that are mom's to kids Kiley's age--no one will probably even go to the same preschool.  I think that I want my kids to grow up with that suburban feel that I knew growing up.

So, it's with that that I have been struggling for the past couple of days.  Of course--new year brings new things for me.  I do want to move forward on this and I know that it is probably something that will happen sooner than later.  It does make me sad though to think of leaving the city, but I think that it would be a good move for our family and I guess at the end of the day, that is the most important thing to me.  I would love for Kevin to be home earlier on days that he isn't traveling.  I want him to be able to sneak out of work for a few minutes in the day to see a school assembly.  Those things are not so easy right now.

It's not that I am not content with where we are at.  I have so much to be grateful for so I guess contentment and moving forward can sometimes go together.  It's just a fine line of having the patience to know when to take the steps forward in order to feel content in making the change.  Patience isn't my strong suit--sometimes I wonder if I even possess any patience, but I know in this matter that I must possess patience for the right house, in the right neighborhood in the right school district to come along.  I also must remember to feel content in what I love about the city in the meantime, as I know that there is much I am going to miss once we make the big move out to the suburbs.