I said "Yes"

Five years ago tonight, I made a choice that changed my life forever.  Now, as we all know, there are few things in life that we have control of, but in this instance-I was asked a question and had full control over the answer.  Now, at that moment, I wasn't really thinking through every detail of my life and how it would be affected by my answer, but I just knew what the answer was going to be.  Five years ago tonight, Kevin asked me to marry him, and of course, my answer was YES.

Now here we are in 2012, spending our New Year's at our new home, with our two daughters sleeping upstairs, two dogs sleeping on the couch, and I will most likely be asleep before midnight while Kevin watches the ball drop by himself--but I (and hopefully he) would have it no other way.  In the grand scheme of life, five years isn't all that long, but for me, it has been the best five years of my life and I can only hope that God blesses us with many, many more wonderful years.

New year, new blog!

I know, I know.  Like I have said before-I really try to maintain a blog and then life gets in the way and the blog seems to go by the wayside.  But as I sit down to reflect on 2012 and make some new goals for 2013, I am really going to try to maintain my blog and then hopefully by the end of the year, I can have a nice scrapbook of the year that I can make into a book (just for me and my family).  I think that has been the problem in the past, I said I was writing for me, and then I got sidetracked by how many people did or didn't read my blog and I got a little "who cares if I write today" attitude.  But, I have come to realize that it doesn't matter if anyone reads this--one day maybe my girls will come across it and they will have this amazing scrapbook of their lives and for me that is enough.  Two readers, years from know is enough to motivate me to really try to keep it up.

So I kind of have a love/hate relationship with New Year's.  Things I love--I got engaged on New Year's 5 years ago, I love making new goals and starting anew, I love new calendars, basically New Year's is like the ultimate Monday--you know how all good diets, goals, etc. start on  Monday.  Things I don't like about New Year's--staying up late (and yes, midnight is late to me), I don't like feeling like a failure when I don't meet my goals or break my diet.  So, of course this year, I have a laundry list of things that I am going to try to improve on so instead of this year listing out my resolutions--I am just going to have a couple of words to live by for 2013.  My words of the year are Improvement, Calm and Energy or ICE. 

Improvement--Things like staying organizing, meal planning, keeping up with my cleaning schedule, keeping up to date on blogs, emails, setting up get-togethers, dates, etc.  All the things that have seemed to fall by the wayside when I don't remain. . .

Calm--I have a tendency to overschedule, get frustrated, get stressed--I hate to say this--but basically I'm not a very nice person the more stressed I get--so this year I am going to try to maintain a sense of calm.  Hopefully some of the things I am trying to improve on will aid in me being more calm--or at least when I am getting stressed I can just repeat ICE, ICE, Baby--and if that doesn't make you smile than I don't know what will :)

Energy--and of course, I must have some goals related to weight loss and exercising.  I certainly want to lose weight before our summer trip so therefore, eating better and exercising are a must.  I have some fitness related goals this year, but in the same sense of maintaining a sort of calmness, I want exercise to be fun and not feel like a chore.  I want to enjoy running, so I plan to just sign up for races with friends and have it double duty as girl time.  Hopefully, I can find some girls that are on board. I also need to give some yoga, pilates, zumba a chance.  You know, really just switch it up so I don't get bored.

So there you have it--the word for the year for me is ICE.  Do you have a word for the year?  I would love to hear it.  

Thankful

I'm up to my ears in dishes and laundry, have a gigantic mess around the house from that the girl's made from lunch, it's super hot out so we can't really get outside to play much these days, rooms to pack, people to email, appointments to set up, and so on and so on.  But, every day I have to remind myself that I am so thankful for the gifts that I have been given, the family that I have, the friends who support me, my two most precious gifts of all--my girls--who can run me ragged, know what buttons to push when, throw tantrums, don't always listen, but are also the greatest sources of joy in my life and I would be nothing today without them.  I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, but I never imagined how hard it would really be.  Sure, I'm tired a lot, but nothing prepares you for the emotions of being a mom--the joy, the laughter, the love, but along with that comes the anxiety, the fear, the uneasiness and the guilt.  You do what you can each and every day to do the best job you can, and let's be honest, sometimes you are just getting the job done and other days you feel like you've done a pretty good job.  I'm really thankful for the amazing days, but I am also really thankful for the more difficult days.  They humble me and remind me to be thankful for those great days.  They remind me that not every day is going to be perfect and not every day are we going to do something fun and out of the ordinary, but every day that I get to spend doing dishes or laundry or cleaning is a gift because I get to spend it with my two beautiful children and my family.  Now that I have just reminded myself of that--I must actually get to work on all the above tasks!  Life is hectic right now, but I am THANKFUL that I have been given reasons for my life to be hectic!!!

The Life!

I swear, Mondays come around and I am SO exhausted from the weekend.  I guess I should just realize that for the next 18 or so years, we are going to be BUSY on the weekends--most likely even busier than we are now.  I love it though--love being active and getting out and doing stuff, love falling into bed at night knowing that we had a fun day--and then looking forward to tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a fun day as well and so on and so on.  I get to spend each day playing and teaching and loving and truly living!

I truly am living the dream of being able to spend each and every day with my girls, watching them grow, playing day in and day out.  I know that being a stay at home mom is not for everyone, but I truly love it.  I never thought that I would stay home.  When I was first pregnant with Kiley, I thought for sure I would go back to work.  I signed her up for a daycare that I loved, put down the deposit and was all set.  Then, about four months after having Kiley (just as my maternity leave was ending and summer was starting) I realized that there was no way that I could drop her off every morning, not see her all day, and then only have a few hours to play with her at night.  It just wasn't for me, it didn't feel right, and I am so fortunate to have a husband that was so supportive of whatever I chose to do.  He supported my decision to go back to work, and then he supported my decision to stay home when I began to waiver.   I know that not everyone can afford to stay home with their kids and that is why I feel so fortunate to have been given this opportunity.  The days can be long, tantrums are thrown, poopy diapers are plentiful, but at the end of the day, staying home with my girls has been one of the hardest, but probably one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  I am so lucky that I had that choice to make and again so grateful that my husband is so supportive (both financially and emotionally) of mine and the girl's needs.  

So I will take that exhausted feeling that I will most likely have for the unforeseeable future and enjoy it.  It comes with the territory of having a 2-year-old and 1-year-old.  So, while this time is pretty tiring, it's also pretty amazing.

 Ha--I just realized that I just wrote an entire post about being tired and it probably doesn't even really make sense because I am so tired, but well, this is my life right now and this blog is supposed to something that I can read to remember the times.  I guess I just could have put June 11th, 2012 = tired, but then you wouldn't have wasted 1-2 minutes of your day reading this, so here's a more wordy version of my tired, rambling self.  Here's some pictures to make something in this post worthwhile :)

Last Day of 1 year old preschool

I remember signing Kiley up for "preschool" back in September as a way to give myself a little time to do errands/get stuff done around the house with just Ella.  I can't believe how MUCH she learned this year and I am so proud of her.  I know it's only 1 year old preschool, but I still did get a little teary knowing that it was her last day.  Oh, man I'm in for it when it's a real graduation :) 

Here she is on her first day this year--September 9th, 2011 (18 months old)

And here she is today--June 8th, 2012 (27 months old)

Kiley--we are SO proud of you and all that you learned this year.  You're speech has come such a long way and you now talk in sentences and are so observant to your surroundings.  You are really sweet to all your friends and you loved your teachers this year (especially Ms. Amanda, Ms. Becky and Ms. Sara).  Next up--2 year old preschool and 3 mornings a week!!!!  

We celebrated her last day with some ice cream with Grandma and Papa and then a stroll around the zoo to see the monkeys, giraffes, and polar bear.  Tonight--I'm pretty sure she talked daddy into a pizza party.  I think ice cream and pizza may be our new end of the year tradition.  Good thing I like ice cream and pizza too :) 

We have a fun, busy weekend planned as usual :)  I can't believe how much stuff is going on in the city this weekend.  Hope you have a wonderful weekend and a nice kickoff to summer!!!

Patience

If you know me, you know that patience is not my strongest asset.  I want things and I want them now.  Well, let's just say that motherhood is definitely giving me a crash course on patience.  They say that love is patient, but they don't say that patience is easy.  Take for instance, going on a simple walk around the block with a two year old.  Sounds pleasant enough, right?  Well, when said walk around the block (1.47 miles to be exact) takes oh 1 hour and 7 minutes, you know there has to be some patience involved. 

 The stroller with baby had to come along for the walk of course, however, so did the purse filled with all the animal which was much to big to carry on one's shoulder so we had to rig it to the stroller like a diaper bag--purse drug on the ground the entire walk but there was no way the purse could ride in the big stroller.

 Baby was in and out of the stroller.  I'm not sure why-maybe she was crying, guess the over the shoulder, behind the back hold calmed her down.  Let's just be thankful that's not Ella :)

 Oh, then there was the block that we decided that we should pick up non-existent dog poop and wear a dog poop bag on our hand for the rest of the walk. 

 Baby's back to being carried over the shoulder.  I swear I don't carry Ella like that-I don't know where she picked that move up.

 Crossing the streets tends to be difficult.  Nope--Kiley can't ride in the stroller across the streets, she has to walk but doesn't yet grasp the concept of walking quickly or that the light changes and that cars want to drive down the street.  I'm pretty sure I did pass one man walking who muttered an obscenity under his breath as he saw us crossing the street--I probably would too.  I was walking two dogs, a double stroller with one baby in and one toddler walking down the street with her stroller. 

And, then there is always the need to break to dance when you walk by the house blasting music. 

To say my patience was tested a time or two is an understatement, but we made it back to the house.  Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but in times like these, I must say just letting Kiley be independent and not having to be hurrying from one place to the next showed me that it may not always be about getting my two year old to conform to my timeline.  Maybe what's terrible sometimes is my lack of patience to let her get out and explore the world the way she wants.  Today we had the time, the weather was beautiful, all I needed was a little (ok, a lot) of patience.

30 in June

So you know that I love making lists-so here's my list of 30 things I want to do in June.  Some are no-brainers/already on the calendar, others may not get crossed off, but I'm going to try to get them all checked off.

1. Do something active for at least 30 minutes everyday
2. Go to a street fest
3. Run a 10K--hello Sunday!
4. Attend a Bachelorette Party-good thing I have one to attend, that would be weird if I didn't and just had to randomly find one :)
5.  Have a date night
6.  Have a girls night/brunch, whatever.
7.  Read at least one book-ha, remember I was trying to read a book a week, yeah well that didn't happen.
8.  Go to the nature museum.
9.  Go to the zoo.
10.  Get a pedicure
11.  Write a handwritten note and mail it to someone.
12.  Take the girls to a water/splash park.
13.  Have a playdate with friends.
14.  Have a pizza party.
15.  Clean up my inbox-hello 7000 messages to delete.
16.  Cook a new recipe.
17.   Go for a walk to get ice cream.
18.  Clean out my closet and take clothes to goodwill.
19.  Do a craft with Kiley.
20.  Run a 9:30 mile.
21.  Drink a glass of water 2x a day.
22.  Go through and pack up girls winter clothes.
23.  Walk the dogs every weekday (at least)
24.  Do colored bubbles outside.
25.  Go to the swingset store to play and pick out a swingset :)
26.  Go to the botanical garden or Morton Arboreteum
27.  Take a nap.
28.  Read a magazine.
29.  Say "I love you" to someone everyday
30.  Give a compliment everyday.

Whew, that was a little hard to get up to 30.  Let's see how many I get done now.  I hope all of them :)

Have a great weekend :)  The sun is starting to shine and we are off soon to have some apps and drinks.  Yum.