I said "Yes"

Five years ago tonight, I made a choice that changed my life forever.  Now, as we all know, there are few things in life that we have control of, but in this instance-I was asked a question and had full control over the answer.  Now, at that moment, I wasn't really thinking through every detail of my life and how it would be affected by my answer, but I just knew what the answer was going to be.  Five years ago tonight, Kevin asked me to marry him, and of course, my answer was YES.

Now here we are in 2012, spending our New Year's at our new home, with our two daughters sleeping upstairs, two dogs sleeping on the couch, and I will most likely be asleep before midnight while Kevin watches the ball drop by himself--but I (and hopefully he) would have it no other way.  In the grand scheme of life, five years isn't all that long, but for me, it has been the best five years of my life and I can only hope that God blesses us with many, many more wonderful years.

New year, new blog!

I know, I know.  Like I have said before-I really try to maintain a blog and then life gets in the way and the blog seems to go by the wayside.  But as I sit down to reflect on 2012 and make some new goals for 2013, I am really going to try to maintain my blog and then hopefully by the end of the year, I can have a nice scrapbook of the year that I can make into a book (just for me and my family).  I think that has been the problem in the past, I said I was writing for me, and then I got sidetracked by how many people did or didn't read my blog and I got a little "who cares if I write today" attitude.  But, I have come to realize that it doesn't matter if anyone reads this--one day maybe my girls will come across it and they will have this amazing scrapbook of their lives and for me that is enough.  Two readers, years from know is enough to motivate me to really try to keep it up.

So I kind of have a love/hate relationship with New Year's.  Things I love--I got engaged on New Year's 5 years ago, I love making new goals and starting anew, I love new calendars, basically New Year's is like the ultimate Monday--you know how all good diets, goals, etc. start on  Monday.  Things I don't like about New Year's--staying up late (and yes, midnight is late to me), I don't like feeling like a failure when I don't meet my goals or break my diet.  So, of course this year, I have a laundry list of things that I am going to try to improve on so instead of this year listing out my resolutions--I am just going to have a couple of words to live by for 2013.  My words of the year are Improvement, Calm and Energy or ICE. 

Improvement--Things like staying organizing, meal planning, keeping up with my cleaning schedule, keeping up to date on blogs, emails, setting up get-togethers, dates, etc.  All the things that have seemed to fall by the wayside when I don't remain. . .

Calm--I have a tendency to overschedule, get frustrated, get stressed--I hate to say this--but basically I'm not a very nice person the more stressed I get--so this year I am going to try to maintain a sense of calm.  Hopefully some of the things I am trying to improve on will aid in me being more calm--or at least when I am getting stressed I can just repeat ICE, ICE, Baby--and if that doesn't make you smile than I don't know what will :)

Energy--and of course, I must have some goals related to weight loss and exercising.  I certainly want to lose weight before our summer trip so therefore, eating better and exercising are a must.  I have some fitness related goals this year, but in the same sense of maintaining a sort of calmness, I want exercise to be fun and not feel like a chore.  I want to enjoy running, so I plan to just sign up for races with friends and have it double duty as girl time.  Hopefully, I can find some girls that are on board. I also need to give some yoga, pilates, zumba a chance.  You know, really just switch it up so I don't get bored.

So there you have it--the word for the year for me is ICE.  Do you have a word for the year?  I would love to hear it.  

Thankful

I'm up to my ears in dishes and laundry, have a gigantic mess around the house from that the girl's made from lunch, it's super hot out so we can't really get outside to play much these days, rooms to pack, people to email, appointments to set up, and so on and so on.  But, every day I have to remind myself that I am so thankful for the gifts that I have been given, the family that I have, the friends who support me, my two most precious gifts of all--my girls--who can run me ragged, know what buttons to push when, throw tantrums, don't always listen, but are also the greatest sources of joy in my life and I would be nothing today without them.  I always knew that I wanted to be a mom, but I never imagined how hard it would really be.  Sure, I'm tired a lot, but nothing prepares you for the emotions of being a mom--the joy, the laughter, the love, but along with that comes the anxiety, the fear, the uneasiness and the guilt.  You do what you can each and every day to do the best job you can, and let's be honest, sometimes you are just getting the job done and other days you feel like you've done a pretty good job.  I'm really thankful for the amazing days, but I am also really thankful for the more difficult days.  They humble me and remind me to be thankful for those great days.  They remind me that not every day is going to be perfect and not every day are we going to do something fun and out of the ordinary, but every day that I get to spend doing dishes or laundry or cleaning is a gift because I get to spend it with my two beautiful children and my family.  Now that I have just reminded myself of that--I must actually get to work on all the above tasks!  Life is hectic right now, but I am THANKFUL that I have been given reasons for my life to be hectic!!!

The Life!

I swear, Mondays come around and I am SO exhausted from the weekend.  I guess I should just realize that for the next 18 or so years, we are going to be BUSY on the weekends--most likely even busier than we are now.  I love it though--love being active and getting out and doing stuff, love falling into bed at night knowing that we had a fun day--and then looking forward to tomorrow because tomorrow is going to be a fun day as well and so on and so on.  I get to spend each day playing and teaching and loving and truly living!

I truly am living the dream of being able to spend each and every day with my girls, watching them grow, playing day in and day out.  I know that being a stay at home mom is not for everyone, but I truly love it.  I never thought that I would stay home.  When I was first pregnant with Kiley, I thought for sure I would go back to work.  I signed her up for a daycare that I loved, put down the deposit and was all set.  Then, about four months after having Kiley (just as my maternity leave was ending and summer was starting) I realized that there was no way that I could drop her off every morning, not see her all day, and then only have a few hours to play with her at night.  It just wasn't for me, it didn't feel right, and I am so fortunate to have a husband that was so supportive of whatever I chose to do.  He supported my decision to go back to work, and then he supported my decision to stay home when I began to waiver.   I know that not everyone can afford to stay home with their kids and that is why I feel so fortunate to have been given this opportunity.  The days can be long, tantrums are thrown, poopy diapers are plentiful, but at the end of the day, staying home with my girls has been one of the hardest, but probably one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  I am so lucky that I had that choice to make and again so grateful that my husband is so supportive (both financially and emotionally) of mine and the girl's needs.  

So I will take that exhausted feeling that I will most likely have for the unforeseeable future and enjoy it.  It comes with the territory of having a 2-year-old and 1-year-old.  So, while this time is pretty tiring, it's also pretty amazing.

 Ha--I just realized that I just wrote an entire post about being tired and it probably doesn't even really make sense because I am so tired, but well, this is my life right now and this blog is supposed to something that I can read to remember the times.  I guess I just could have put June 11th, 2012 = tired, but then you wouldn't have wasted 1-2 minutes of your day reading this, so here's a more wordy version of my tired, rambling self.  Here's some pictures to make something in this post worthwhile :)

Last Day of 1 year old preschool

I remember signing Kiley up for "preschool" back in September as a way to give myself a little time to do errands/get stuff done around the house with just Ella.  I can't believe how MUCH she learned this year and I am so proud of her.  I know it's only 1 year old preschool, but I still did get a little teary knowing that it was her last day.  Oh, man I'm in for it when it's a real graduation :) 

Here she is on her first day this year--September 9th, 2011 (18 months old)

And here she is today--June 8th, 2012 (27 months old)

Kiley--we are SO proud of you and all that you learned this year.  You're speech has come such a long way and you now talk in sentences and are so observant to your surroundings.  You are really sweet to all your friends and you loved your teachers this year (especially Ms. Amanda, Ms. Becky and Ms. Sara).  Next up--2 year old preschool and 3 mornings a week!!!!  

We celebrated her last day with some ice cream with Grandma and Papa and then a stroll around the zoo to see the monkeys, giraffes, and polar bear.  Tonight--I'm pretty sure she talked daddy into a pizza party.  I think ice cream and pizza may be our new end of the year tradition.  Good thing I like ice cream and pizza too :) 

We have a fun, busy weekend planned as usual :)  I can't believe how much stuff is going on in the city this weekend.  Hope you have a wonderful weekend and a nice kickoff to summer!!!

Patience

If you know me, you know that patience is not my strongest asset.  I want things and I want them now.  Well, let's just say that motherhood is definitely giving me a crash course on patience.  They say that love is patient, but they don't say that patience is easy.  Take for instance, going on a simple walk around the block with a two year old.  Sounds pleasant enough, right?  Well, when said walk around the block (1.47 miles to be exact) takes oh 1 hour and 7 minutes, you know there has to be some patience involved. 

 The stroller with baby had to come along for the walk of course, however, so did the purse filled with all the animal which was much to big to carry on one's shoulder so we had to rig it to the stroller like a diaper bag--purse drug on the ground the entire walk but there was no way the purse could ride in the big stroller.

 Baby was in and out of the stroller.  I'm not sure why-maybe she was crying, guess the over the shoulder, behind the back hold calmed her down.  Let's just be thankful that's not Ella :)

 Oh, then there was the block that we decided that we should pick up non-existent dog poop and wear a dog poop bag on our hand for the rest of the walk. 

 Baby's back to being carried over the shoulder.  I swear I don't carry Ella like that-I don't know where she picked that move up.

 Crossing the streets tends to be difficult.  Nope--Kiley can't ride in the stroller across the streets, she has to walk but doesn't yet grasp the concept of walking quickly or that the light changes and that cars want to drive down the street.  I'm pretty sure I did pass one man walking who muttered an obscenity under his breath as he saw us crossing the street--I probably would too.  I was walking two dogs, a double stroller with one baby in and one toddler walking down the street with her stroller. 

And, then there is always the need to break to dance when you walk by the house blasting music. 

To say my patience was tested a time or two is an understatement, but we made it back to the house.  Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but in times like these, I must say just letting Kiley be independent and not having to be hurrying from one place to the next showed me that it may not always be about getting my two year old to conform to my timeline.  Maybe what's terrible sometimes is my lack of patience to let her get out and explore the world the way she wants.  Today we had the time, the weather was beautiful, all I needed was a little (ok, a lot) of patience.

30 in June

So you know that I love making lists-so here's my list of 30 things I want to do in June.  Some are no-brainers/already on the calendar, others may not get crossed off, but I'm going to try to get them all checked off.

1. Do something active for at least 30 minutes everyday
2. Go to a street fest
3. Run a 10K--hello Sunday!
4. Attend a Bachelorette Party-good thing I have one to attend, that would be weird if I didn't and just had to randomly find one :)
5.  Have a date night
6.  Have a girls night/brunch, whatever.
7.  Read at least one book-ha, remember I was trying to read a book a week, yeah well that didn't happen.
8.  Go to the nature museum.
9.  Go to the zoo.
10.  Get a pedicure
11.  Write a handwritten note and mail it to someone.
12.  Take the girls to a water/splash park.
13.  Have a playdate with friends.
14.  Have a pizza party.
15.  Clean up my inbox-hello 7000 messages to delete.
16.  Cook a new recipe.
17.   Go for a walk to get ice cream.
18.  Clean out my closet and take clothes to goodwill.
19.  Do a craft with Kiley.
20.  Run a 9:30 mile.
21.  Drink a glass of water 2x a day.
22.  Go through and pack up girls winter clothes.
23.  Walk the dogs every weekday (at least)
24.  Do colored bubbles outside.
25.  Go to the swingset store to play and pick out a swingset :)
26.  Go to the botanical garden or Morton Arboreteum
27.  Take a nap.
28.  Read a magazine.
29.  Say "I love you" to someone everyday
30.  Give a compliment everyday.

Whew, that was a little hard to get up to 30.  Let's see how many I get done now.  I hope all of them :)

Have a great weekend :)  The sun is starting to shine and we are off soon to have some apps and drinks.  Yum. 

Let's Start Again!

Ok, ok, I know--my last post was February 29th.   So, you ask, where have I been for the past 3 months?  Well, let's just say in a house selling frenzy (or lack thereof) since our house is still on the market.  Seriously though, house selling has been the worst.  We have had tons of showings, open houses, a second showing that didn't result in anything because of the stupid dumpsters.  Then there was a 2nd birthday for Kiley, a trip to Arizona, our first house falling through which resulted in us putting in an offer on another house (which thankfully, we got and are for sure moving in August, a 1st birthday for Ella, running my first half marathon, cleaning, cleaning, and oh yeah, more cleaning.  As of this point, like I said we are for sure moving in August and I am starting to get excited.  The girls are signed up for preschool for Kiley three days a week and Parent's Day Out for Ella two days a week.  I found my new gym, which of course is oh so important!  So as of tomorrow we have 2 months left in the city and I plan to make the most of it--in between packing up some boxes of course.  I swear I think that home selling process definitely put me in a rut for the past couple of months.  If you know me--uncertainty is not a great place for me.  I am a list maker, planner, schedule follower, so when things are up in the air, I am not in a good place.  I know the next couple of months will be a little crazy with the move, but I think that it will be nothing compared to the unknown.  So, I'm back, and promise to be better about not taking a three month break again.  I remember my reasons for starting my blog in the first place--which was for me to have a place to document this and that around the Pollack household.  Maybe someday I will get back to refreshing everyone on the past couple of months, but then again, maybe I won't so I guess it's just better to start from present day and go with it :) 

We had our family pics taken last Sunday with Katie.  She does such an awesome job captured the true sense of everyone's personality.  I just love looking back at the pictures that she has taken to see how the kids have grown and see their personalities develop in the pictures.  Here's the link to the ones that she posted on her blog http://katieryanphotography.blogspot.com/2012/05/ella-is-1.html.  Check them out--gotta love Kiley and her purse, tounges sticking out, Ella being a picky eater (she barely would even touch the cake!), and the girl's love for their Daddy :) 

Kiley's favorite things

In keeping with Kiley week, I thought I would make a list of some of Kiley's favorite things at age 2.  Here they are, in no order of importance, just how I can think of them :)

1.  Dogs-Kiley is OBSESSED with dogs.  She loves Morgan and Madison, but she also just has a love for dogs in general.  When we go for a walk or are at the park, she spends most of her time looking for and pointing out dogs.  Maybe we have a future vet on our hands.

2.  Garbage trucks.  Kiley loves to watch the garbage man out of her window.  This morning she wasn't even up yet when I heard the garbage truck pull up in the alley, of course, a second later I heard Kiley screaming truck, truck.  Kevin went to get her up and had to immediately show her the garbage truck.  Perhaps we have a garbage woman on our hands :)

3.  Elmo!  Hence her 2nd b-day party theme of Kiley Street.  She loves Elmo.  She really watches no tv other than sometimes requesting to watch Elmo and even then it is only for a few seconds.  I think her fondness of Elmo came from the Ipad app. 

4.  Favorite songs--ABC's, wheels on the bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider and Pat-a-cake.  She requests these all the time and must do all the hand movements with them as well.

5.  Taking pictures.  She loves to hold the cell phone up to "take a picture."  She just walks around saying cheese.  She sometimes does it also with things that she thinks are cameras--such as flashlights, remotes, etc.

6.  She is really into labeling whose things are whose these days.  For instance, she recently has decided that all the remotes are daddy's.  She is very particular on who can use certain things--and of course, does not like when Ella touches things that she has deemed as hers.

7.  Babies--I think this one is because she is such a great big sister.  She just loves babies and points them out all the time.   I was watching the Today show this morning and they were covering the election and she pointed out the one token baby in the crowd--ha, how's that for observant.  She also loves to change diapers and feed and burp babies (and sometimes her friends as well).  We are trying to work on her not checking other kids diapers or burping them--what a little mom she is.

8.  Running.  She loves to run these days and points out people running all the time.  She has the funniest run that I will have to get on video sometime.  It's kind of like those people that are serious speed walkers. 

9.  Books.  She loves books.   She doesn't always have the attention span to sit and listen to books all the time, but she loves to look through them, pass them out to everyone (dogs included), read them to herself.

10.  Purses, jewelry, all things girly.  This one has been a favorite for awhile.  She just loves being girly.

She is so funny these days and as her speech is increasing she is getting funnier by the day.  Oh the things that she says and does just make me laugh. 

8. 

Kiley's Birthday week

I am dedicated this week to all things Kiley as this Sunday my baby will be two years old.  I know, how is that even possible?  It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital on a Thursday evening getting ready to go into surgery to have her and now she is turning two.  I guess like every parent, I wonder where time went, but I think people are right when they say the days can sometimes feel like they are going on forever, but the years fly by.  I look back at her pictures though from her first birthday and she seems like such a baby to me then.  She is turning into such a big girl.  She is funny and smart and keeps me on my toes.  I love her so much and can't imagine my world without her.  I am so blessed to be her mom.  Much more Kiley to come this week as we celebrate her big birthday week!!!!

Don't mind the bad picture.  This was the best I can find that's somewhat recent and this I believe is from December.  That is how behind I am on keeping up to date on things these days.

Now back to cleaning.  Two showings today--please someone love this house, fingers crossed.

Blogger Break

Wow--it has been a while since I blogged.  Over a month to be exact--well, to be exact, over a month and a few days.  But, I do have an excuse. I was busy--and when I say busy I mean buying a house busy.  Yes, remember when I said we were looking at houses, and then I said we were staying put, and then we decided to just look, and then we found a house we love, and then we bought it, and then we now have to sell our house.  So yes, all of that in one month, which is why I have not blogged.  I have been busy getting my house ready to sell and while I can't wait to move and I really, really hope that we sell ours so that we can move to our forever home, moving is also a little bittersweet.  This is the house that I moved into with my boyfriend, got my dogs, got married, had one kid, had two kids, went from working to staying home and WORKING!!!!  This house has a lot of memories for me and I have loved it, but it is time to move on.

But before moving on, I will share my one memory of this house that stands out the most for me.  It was the day I came home from the hospital after having Kiley.  Now, as most know, my girls were both preemies which meant they didn't come home with me.  Not something that you really envision when you think of bringing your baby home from the hospital. Yes, she was healthy and I was grateful for that, but I was also really sad that she didn't get to come home with me when I came home.  So I remember distinctly coming home from the hospital, without my baby, and feeling so sad.  I had just had a c-section so I really wasn't feeling great and wasn't supposed to do stairs, but I remember coming home getting up the stairs and just sitting on the couch in the family room--and I started crying.  Of course, things were good in life.  Kiley was healthy, I was healthy, family was good, but I wanted my baby home with me.  The one thing that really sticks out though is sitting on the couch, crying, with my husband and dogs beside me.  You  never know what a house is going to bring you.  This house brought me my family.  I am really grateful for this house and I know that it will bring someone else some pretty profound memories-so hopefully we will be able to sell it and I can make new memories in a new house.  But until then, here we are, on a Friday night, watching tv in the comforts of our home with my two babies fast asleep, and my two other babies (dogs) asleep on the couch.  People may say my kitchen is too small or the master bath doesn't have two vanities but it's been good to me. 

Hopefully now that we are on the market and things are ready to go, I will have more time to blog again.  I have though become a master cleaner--one of these days I will share some favorite cleaning tools (oh don't you go getting too excited!)

A little of this and a little of that

Sorry-didn't mean to not post since Tuesday, but it was a somewhat busy week.  I took on a new job as the housekeeper of the house :)  I decided now that Ella is finally napping the same time as Kiley, I would take on the role of cleaning and make myself some money every two weeks-well the money that isn't going to the cleaning lady.  I have a pretty good routine down, but man it is time consuming and takes up almost all the time that I have during naptime. 

Other than that, I've been busy with my workouts and keeping the kids entertained.  I don't know how many more times I can sing Pat-a-Cake this week--Kiley is now in the "do it again" stage and believe me it does get old after awhile--I have a feeling the "why" stage is coming soon and I can already tell Kiley is going to want to know EVERYTHING.  I did a killer class at the gym yesterday-man am I sore today.  It made the run this morning pretty tough, but I still got my three miles in.  I have a couple more weeks until my real "training" program for the half marathon starts.  The new running shoes are making a huge difference. I really haven't had much knee pain since I got them, so I am feeling pretty good.  I need to really focus on my longer runs now to start gaining a little more endurance--I don't think I am really going to worry about speed for this half.  As long as I finish that is good enough for me. 

I'm thankful Kevin made it home today.  He luckily caught the last flight into Chicago before they starting cancelling flights due to the snow, and I'm pretty sure if he had been on a later flight he would definitely have not been home until tomorrow.  Speaking of getting home--I am so thankful that I stay home with the girls on days like these.  I think about trying to commute 30 miles with the girls in the back seat--on a regular day that would have been hard to handle, on a day like today when the commute could have taken 3 hours-NO WAY!!!

A few pics from the week. . .

Kiley started a little ballet class last Saturday--of course she wouldn't smile for the camera, but how cute is she from behind :)

I love this pic of Ella and I-Kevin thinks she looks crazy.  I think she looks adorable.

Not the greatest picture of Kiley but hilarious in that she is wearing a hat, gloves, sitting in a sled, oh and wearing a swimsuit coverup. Ha!

 

And here's a little video love.  This one just melts my heart.  They just love each other so much.




Have a great weekend. I have some reading to get done.  For some reason my book this week is taking me forever and was supposed to be a book that I was going to get done in a day or so.  Other than that-not much on tap other than ballet, birthday parties, church, and hanging out at home---and maybe a little sledding :)

Snowy Days

Well, winter seems to have arrived in Chicago.  Now, I'm not much of a winter sports person.  I'm more of a sit inside and drink hot chocolate and watch the snow fall--or if I was at a ski resort, I may sit in the hot tub and drink a hot adult beverage or something, but there is something about watching kids in the snow which makes me brave the elements for a few minutes to at least get a picture or two.  Now, you may think from these pictures that Kiley LOVES the snow.  However, it's really just watching Morgan and Madison running around in the snow that cracks her up.  She was down with the snow in about 5 minutes.  That's my girl!!!

Ella, wasn't as thrilled with the snow.  I don't blame her--maybe next year she will be more into it!

Move it Monday

Weight watchers week 1 was definitely a success.  I lost about 4.8 pounds and was really happy with that.  Granted it was also the week that I stopped drinking pop so I think that helped in that I was drinking a lot more water and like all first weeks in diets, you are losing a lot of water weight.  Week 2 has not been as positive.  I have stayed within my points and worked out pretty much everyday, but the scale isn't budging.  I know that I am not going to lose every week and that some weeks will be better than others, but it is tough when you feel like you are doing everything right and the scale isn't budging.  I know that I have to stick with it though to see results and this is only the 2nd week.  In looking back at my food journal this week, my main goal for the week is to stay within my points each day and to not eat out at all this week.  Not eating out is really easy for me during the week, but the weekends are more of a challenge and that is where I rack up a lot of points.

Other goals for the week:

No tv during the day--started last week and was successful so let's keep it going.
Finish my book of the week--this week's book is short, so I expect this won't be tough. I did two books last week so I am pretty sure I will get that in this week as well.
No pop
No Facebook
Enjoy time with my kids and husband
Get up by 5:00-5:15 everyday to get a head start on the day so that I am not feeling rushed with the kids get up

Whoa, that seems like a lot, but you know me, I do much better when I have goals set.  Now I just need to think of a reward if I meet all these goals this week.

"What Alice Forgot" by Liane Moriarty

 

Ha, 2nd book of the year was completed in 4 days (and Kevin said I couldn't do it, ok well I am only on the 2nd week of 52 weeks in the year, but still I made it).  Anyways, this was the book for my book club last month, but of course I never got around to reading it then, but better late than never.  I LOVED this book. I don't know--I just felt like I could really relate to this book for some reason.  It's about a woman in her late 30's who after a fall at the gym, comes to, forgetting the last ten years of her life.  She wakes up with three kids that she doesn't remember, going through a divorce, and having a very different personality than she did 10 years prior.  I felt like this book really made me think about priorities in ones life, especially remembering to focus on one's marriage even in the midst of work, kids, day-to-day life stressors. 

Abby, if you haven't read this book yet, you must--sorry it's on my Ipad or I would have given you a copy.  There is a secondary storyline in it that you will totally be able to relate to and it made me really think about our bond as sisters--and how important we are to each other. 

My rating on this book was a 5.  Granted this is no literary masterpiece, but I judge my books based on their how much I like them.  I couldn't put it down!