Back from Spring Break :)

Ha, ha, let's just pretend for a second that I was on a beach somewhere for the past week, sipping a cocktail and soaking up the sun.  Ah, that sounds nice, right?  Well, I wasn't on Spring Break, but Kevin was so I guess that counts :)  I have my girls weekend coming up at the end of next month, so it's something to look forward to--and to motivate me to get my booty to the gym. 

Anyways, I'm back.  Sorry for the break in posting, but what can I say, at least I am back after a week and not months :) 

I still have a ton of pictures to post and things to get caught up on, but I guess such is life.  I started my half marathon training plan this week which is already keeping my quite busy at the gym.  I am having to take a break from some of my classes to fit in all of my training runs, but it's good because it will be good to get back to my classes when training lets up a bit. 

I'm trying to be a bit better with my eating habits this week, I started completely falling off course last week.  I realized for myself that once I start slipping it is a very slippery slope--those Reese's Peanut Butter eggs are not helping anything these days.  So, I am trying to limit sweets, chips, and fries for the next month.  I need to finally shed this last 5-7 pounds and I certainly think my running would benefit from me losing the last couple of pounds, so here's to hoping :)

So, things are good around here--now if only my house would magically clean itself, life would be great!!!!

Finding motivation?

Remember last week when I posted about finding my motivation and trying to hold myself accountable--well guess what?  I have failed on every single one. Like not even close to accomplishing even one of my goals-pathetic I tell you, yes, but in my defense-the weekend was busy, the dog got lost, Kiley celebrated her 3rd birthday, and blah it's still snowing and on and on.

I have a ton of things to post and I will, I promise, but tonight, I think I need to take time to regroup and really find my inner motivation. 

Here's to a new day tomorrow.  I am going to really try to get back on track--and it won't hurt that my mom is coming tomorrow for a week so an extra pair of hands hopefully will be just what I need :)

Happy Friday! Morgan's home!!!

Well our little jailbird is back home.  Thanks so much for all of your thoughts.  Kevin actually picked her up this morning and said that her accommodations were not so great, probably a good thing I didn't pick her up.  He said he could hear her crying when he walked in, then he had to go ID her and she was super excited, but the he had to go back out front to fill out some paperwork before they would release her and he said she just howled like he had never heard before.  My poor baby dog.  I would be giving her treats for the next week, heck, I would probably be letting her eat at the dinner table with us.  And, yes, I am giving her treats for the next week :)

We have a busy weekend planned to celebrate our little Kiley's 3rd birthday!!!!  Her birthday isn't actually until Monday, but we are going to do family day tomorrow since I have my second 10K of the year on and a baptism on Sunday so tomorrow Kiley gets to be Princess for a Day!!!!

I can't wait--oh and do you know how hard it is to get six helium balloons in the back of your car.  Oh, not easy.  I wish someone had videotaped me.  I would have been dying laughing if I have seen myself.

Have a great weekend!!!

Missing: A lovable labradoodle named Morgan

My sweet Morgan went missing this afternoon--now, I know she is ok, someone found her and turned her in, but it was past the sheriff's closing time, so my poor doggie has to spend the night in the pound.  Poor girl :(

I really don't know what happened, but after thinking of it more, this is what I think happened.  I let her and Madison out a the same time.  The dogs love to just wander around the yard and they really don't ever venture out of the yard so we don't always have their collars on.  Madison is the one a couple of weeks ago who started to go out of the yard and that is the only time that I have ever seen either one of them leave the yard.  We starting putting the collars on them again, but Morgan's battery didn't work so I didn't have it on them.  After a while Madison wanted to come back in, but Morgan loves the snow and would stay out all afternoon.  So I thought nothing of it.  After a while, we decided to walk down to get the mail.  I went out, called for Morgan, no Morgan.  Looked around the house, nowhere to be seen.  Started to panic.  Checked in the house to make sure she didn't get stuck somewhere even though I knew she wasn't inside, nope not there.  Loaded the girls into the car--windows down, yelling for her.  Nowhere to be found.  Drove back home in hopes that she was there, nope.  Left the girls in the car, tried to follow random tracks through the snow but who knows what was dog tracks vs. deer tracks vs. coyote tracks.  Back in the car, keep driving around, screaming for her.  Nothing.  Thank god I don't see her hurt on the side of the road!  Frantically try to find the number for the police department, but it is hard to do while driving and screaming out the window.  Call Kevin and tell him to try to call.  Go back home again--ask a few people, including the UPS man, if they have seen a yellow dog wandering around.  Nope.  Finally, get a call back from Kevin who talked to the sheriff that someone had dropped her off, but we couldn't pick her up until the morning.  Relief, but I am still left wondering what happened.

After a bit of thought my most plausible hypothesis is that the house next door is going up for sale and someone there saw her and thought she was lost. When I pulled into the drive way today, I saw they had a lock box on their door.  Well, this afternoon while searching for Morgan, I noticed that their was a For Sale sign now in their front yard.  My thought is that someone went to their house to put up the sign and Morgan just pranced over to say hi and since she didn't have tags on the people thought she was lost.  Now, I'm sure it was the relator who came to put the sign up and the house is vacant so there are no owners there that would know this was our dog, so I know that this person truly was just trying to do the right thing and I am thankful for that.  I am thankful that my Morgan is safe, but I know she is probably not loving spending the night away from home by herself.  I can only imagine the pound is not luxurious.  Does she even have food?  And she doesn't have a nice pillow to sleep on.  She must be so scared and wants to come home.  Poor baby.  You better believe that I will be waiting in the parking lot for the pound to open up tomorrow morning.

Kiley Quotables: Edition #1

Rewind: Valentine's Day 2013

I know, Valentine's Day was now two weeks ago, but I wanted to share a couple pictures and videos from our day.  We had a great day of eating and playing our way through Valentine's Day 2013!

We started out with a breakfast of heart-shaped blueberry muffins and turkey bacon.  The girls got spoiled of course by their grandmas and papas with lots of little goodies that greeted them at the table that morning.  We then hit up the gym as usual and I enjoyed an awesome spin class with all the songs relating to love--I love when my instructors put special touches to their class every once in awhile.

After the gym, I took the girls to McDonald's to play at the playlot.  We don't go very often so they loved it!

We came home and tried to take naps, but the anticipation of making cupcakes for daddy was just too much (oh and the delivery of some beautiful flowers from daddy!).  So, the naps didn't happen and we skipped right to making our funfetti cupcakes.  Kiley did a good job actually frosting, while Ella--well she ate :)

When daddy got home, he came with an awesome surprise--helium balloons.  Who knew that balloons for a couple dollars could be such a big hit.  No joke, two weeks later and we still have the balloons-talk about money well spent!

We had dinner, put the kids to bed, and enjoyed a glass on wine.

So there you have it Valentine's Day 2013!

Motivation where are you?

I'm not going to lie, my motivation is starting to wane.  I not feeling motivated to track my points for weight watchers--and the delivery of girl scout cookies is not helping me to make great choices.  My motivation for getting to the gym is ok (probably has something to do with the childcare :)), but when I get there, I just don't feel like really getting into that long run I said I was going to do.  My motivation for updating the blog when all of the pictures and videos I have from this month seems a bit overwhelming.  I have laundry and cleaning to do and on and on and on. 

I know that it is this time of year--it's the time that this season affective disorder really sets in for me and I start to feel really unmotivated.  Before having kids, I always had some fun spring break trip to look forward to.  A week in a warm sunny place really does wonders for your outlook and keeps you motivated to keep up the healthy eating and working out.  However, since having kids, there haven't been any spring breaks. I know--whoa is me and I really do try to keep it in perspective, but I crave being outside, I crave the sun, I crave taking walks and riding my bike.  And as we have a forecast of snow and cold for the whole rest of the week, it makes it tough to keep motivated. 

Now, I know as soon as I start getting unmotivated, it is a slippery slope.  I start eating one cookie, then it's two, and then of course I am buying the Reese's Peanut Butter egg in line at Target--yes I have done all of these in the past two days :(  I realize that I need to not beat myself up over it, but I know me and I know that once I start going down this unmotivated path, it's hard to get back on track. 

So, starting today, I am going to try something different.  I am going to hold myself accountable for all of my goals.  I am going to start my day out with a to-do list and I am going to hold myself accountable for accomplishing all of those things-no excuses.  Here are my non-negotiables for each day. . .

1. Exercise
2. Track my food through weight watchers--notice I didn't say I was going to eat perfect, but I tend to make better choices if I am seeing how many points I am eating and usually I can reign it in.
3. Blog.  I started this as a journal for myself and my family and I am going to keep with it.  Granted it just may be a picture a day, but it's better than nothing.
4.  Do a load of laundry each day-start to finish--that's the hard part for me.  It's easy to throw in a load, but I have such a hard time with folding and putting away.
5.  Pick one room/area to clean each day.
6.  Get to sleep on time.  This one is huge for me because even one night of not great sleep for me affects me.  I wish I could be one of those people that could manage on 6 hours of sleep, but I'm not.  I accept that and I know it must be a priority to me to get my sleep in order to have motivation the next day.
7.  Write in my gratitude journal.  This one is SO important for me and yet I so often let it go to the wayside.  With this time of year and the SAD kicking in,  I need something to remind me of the blessings in my life.
8.  Find one thing at the start of each day that I am looking forward to!  I tend to look forward to things in the future, but forget about the everyday.  I think with motivating myself, I really need to have something to look forward to each day.

So, there you have it.  Hopefully my motivation will find me again so I don't have to force it, but for now this in my plan to stay on target.

What keeps you motivated?
Do you ever get the winter blues?
How do you overcome it?  (aside from moving from the snowy Midwest?)

I am admired. . .

A few nights ago in yoga, my instructor told us to focus on our breathing and either count and use a mantra to control our breathing.  I usually am not one for mantras, but on this particular day, repeating a few phrases was really motivating to me.  At first, they were ones that I try to repeat to myself numerous times throughout my day just to remind me of my strengths, "I am a good mother, "I am a good wife," "I am strong."  Then out of nowhere came one that sort of came out of my unconsciousness, "I am admired."  I could tell that my breathing changed a bit because that is not something that I would ever think of myself.  I don't think people admire me.  I don't think that I do anything that deserves admiration.  I am a SAHM like so many of mothers out there, and to be honest, I am don't even really think that I am a very good mom most of the time--so it hardly deserves admiration.   Yet, when I got an email from my sister a couple of weeks ago that said, "I admire you," that was probably the best compliment that I could ever receive.  I didn't know why at the time, but it hit just the right spot to me. 

Skip ahead to this morning at church--throughout the season of Lent, our church is focusing on the book.

Now, I must be honest and tell you that I am only about one chapter in, but I can already tell you that what my love language is from the above example.  My love language is most certainly through Words of Affirmation.  Simply put, I feel most loved when those that love me are open and expressive in telling me most specifically how much they appreciate me.  However, now that I know that about myself, I also know that in my role as SAHM is know for a fact that my girls a very rarely, if ever, going to tell me how much they appreciate me.   I know that they are not going to say thanks for cooking breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc.  I know they aren't going to tell me how much they appreciate me driving them to school, picking them up, being at every party, school function, field trip, etc.  I know that most (ok, probably all) of my "job" is thankless.  It's just everyday life, but realizing that I also thrive on those statements of appreciation, I realize how that one statement from my sister was able to touch me so much more than even a simple, "I love you" would have.  I just need to know that someone's life is better because I am in it, and not just knowing it, but hearing it from them really goes a long way for me. 

Now of course there are other love languages and the key is to figure out what your love language is and even more so--to figure out what others love languages are.  To know that, helps us to be better partners, wives, parents, friends, daughters, sisters, etc.  So, thank you to my sister for knowing what my love language is.  Somedays it is just the thing you need to hear to make it through the day, and on that particular day that I got that email, it meant the world to me :)

Longing for Spring

It's been a slow week on the blog-sorry :(  I guess it's just that time of winter where we are starting to get cabin fever and nothing really exciting is going on around here.  I am ready for some nicer days to get the girls outside, and I know they are ready for that too!!! Our swingset looks at us longingly saying "come play on me," we have bikes that need to be ridden, and a pool that has been closed for far too long.  I know I should be excited about the 2 inches of snow that we got, but really, I'm kind of over it now.  A couple of weeks ago it looked pretty when we had a good snow, but now, it is just annoying me (and we haven't even had a lot of snow this year).  But, the light at the end of the tunnel-I did sign the girls up for swimming lessons yesterday for the SUMMER-as in swimming outside!!!! So, I have to believe that Spring is right around the corner.  Come on Spring!!!!!

Home

So Kevin and I had an awesome time on our date night down in the city on Saturday night.  We went to the auto show, went to happy hour, had a nice dinner and met a friend out for drinks afterwards.  We slept in on Sunday morning and went back to our favorite breakfast place and my favorite cupcake place.  It was so great to be able to spend time together and just get to enjoy each others company.  And it was nice to get to wear a nice "going out" dress that I knew wasn't going to get dirty hands all over it before I even left the house.

But, I must say that after seven short months, the city no longer felt like home to me.  I got to about 9:00--right after dinner and I must say that I was ready to go home.  I missed my girls, I missed my dogs, most of our friends were busy doing their own things and couldn't meet us out, times had changed and so have we.  While there are things that I miss about the city, I feel at home here at our new house.  Maybe it is because I grew up 10 minutes from our current house so the area is so familiar and comfortable, but I feel a lot more at peace here.  While the bustle of the city is nice once in awhile, I realize that it's not the place I wanted to raise my girls.  I'm so glad that we decided to move when we did because I now see them making friends that they will have hopefully for a lifetime--kids they will ride the bus with, kids that they will invite over to play and in the summer spend countless hours outside before I have to call them in, friends that they will have sleepovers with and share memories with.  And for me, while making friends has been slower as one would expect for a 30-something, I too am glad that I can make friends that I hopefully will be able to call when I need someone to pick up one of my girls from school because I am stuck in traffic and it's nice to run into a friendly face that I know almost everywhere that we go.  It's nice to hop into the car and drive somewhere without worrying about the parking.  It's nice to know that this is the place that we are going to be long-term. I feel much more at home now than I even realized I did before our weekend away.  I guess I am just a suburban girl at heart :)

Happy Birthday Grandma!!!!

Whew, it's 9:00 at night and we have been on the run practically all day.  Between holiday parties and getting back to the gym and girls not napping, it has been a busy but good week.  But, more on all that later because today we are wishing my mom and the best grandma in the world a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Today we hope you get a cake. . .

 Don't be shy. . .

 And don't just watch others eat your cake. . .

 Really dig on in (or start by rubbing it on your legs Ella-style). . .

 And enjoy your day!!!!

Hope you have a great day! We love you and can't wait to see you soon. XOXO!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

So sorry for the lack of posts this week.  It's been a bit busy and I am trying at night to fight off this cold that has been creeping around me for the past couple of days.  I definitely don't want to have a cold for my BIG DATE NIGHT on Saturday.  Can you tell I'm excited?  Well, I am!!!!

I only have a few minutes before I am off to spend the day with my little loves.  Kiley is finally getting to the age where holidays are exciting to her and you should have seen her face this morning when she came down for Valentine's Day breakfast--definitely makes it all worth it :)  Anyways, more to post tomorrow, but for today

Happy Valentine's Day 

 

Hope you have an awesome Valentine's Day!!!

Highlights/Lowlights

It's Monday night and I have a ton of tv watching to do--as in, I am taping three different shows at the same time right now.  Don't judge, there's a lot of good tv (ok I can't exactly call the Bachelor good, but entertaining) on tonight so I will keep this short.  The weekend, was well, a weekend with some highlights and some lowlights. 

Highlights
1.  I got out on Friday night to go to a wine tasting at a friend's house.  It was a much needed girl's night out after a long week.  The wines weren't that great, but I didn't even care, I was out of the house for a night!

2.  Costco run on Saturday morning-have you ever gotten their cilantro lime shrimp--it is delicious.  My friend, Jill turned me on to it and she said it was from Costco.  The first time I went to find it, I thought it was in the frozen section and couldn't find it--well this time, while getting a pre-prepared salad for dinner that night, I saw those little babies.  Oh happy day!!!  Also, we found some chocolate covered blueberries that are AMAZING!!! So next time you are at Costco, find the shrimp and blueberries, I know weird combo, but you won't be disappointed.

3.  I went out for a run on Saturday afternoon.  It was pretty nice out for a February afternoon, well aside from the wind which almost kicked my butt (oh and actually running hills).  I'm used to the nice flat terrain of Chicago, and also having to stop at a stoplight every few blocks :)  Better get myself outside running a bit more often instead of camping out on the treadmill.

4.  My sister came up on Sunday morning and went to church and breakfast.  It was so nice to see her since I haven't seen her since Christmas.  

5.  Kevin watched the kids and I am cleaned the entire upstairs of the house in a couple hours on Sunday afternoon.  It was so nice to actually feel like I accomplished something from start to finish at one time.

Lowlights
1.  Ella's double ear infection.  Thankfully the antibiotics are finally starting to seem like they are working, so today has been a much better day.

2.  Needing a highchair at Chick Fil A and the only ones they had were being occupied by sister's who were no joke probably 4 or 5 years old.  Seriously-your kindergartener can sit on a chair, right?

3.  Sitting down on Saturday night to have a glass of wine and read a magazine I got at CVS the day before.  Notice, I said day before as in 2013.  So, I go to read the magazine, look at the cover and realize the date on the magazine says June/July 2008.  What???

4.  Having to wait 20 minutes at Egg Harbor for breakfast on Sunday.  Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but with two kids who are restless and hungry and there not being a good place to wait, it was a long 20 minutes. 

5.  Same breakfast ending in Ella puking all over me after having a temper tantrum which led to a coughing fit.  Luckily, she spared the little girl next to us as she came within centimeters of puking all of the little girl's hair. 

So, there you have it.  Our weekend in a nutshell.  I am SUPER excited about next weekend though because Kevin and I have a date weekend planned thanks to my sister for being able to stay with the girls.  I can't wait!!!! 

Snow Day!

  I swear I think that I had this same post last year about this time (I went back and checked, yep I did and here's the post) It's crazy to see how much the girls have changed in one year.  We weren't going to go out to play, but after being stuck in the house all day, taking the 20 minutes to get all bundled up to go down to the get the mail seemed like a good way to kill some time. 

. 

I have absolutely nothing to report for Fitness Friday--why, you ask--oh because I haven't worked out in now going on 5 days.  Yep, still sick at home today.  Oh well, I could do a workout video at home but we can't get any of our dvd players to work and sitting in front of the computer to do a video just seems a little odd to me, so I guess I will just go with the workout break.  I am hoping that Kevin can get home a little early today so maybe I can get to the gym, but my motivation really seems to be lacking in the afternoon/evening so not going to lie, that probably won't happen.  It's been a long week, but long weeks definitely make the TGIF saying all the more true! 

Blah-another sick day :(

Ugh, I am so ready for this illness to be out of our house.  We are now on day 4 on being home and I can not even begin to tell you how stir crazy I am going.  Ok-enough complaining.  I will brighten your day with some fun videos that I have been meaning to post for some time.  Or at least they brighten my day :)  And yes, this is a lot of videos, but I know all three of my readers out there will enjoy them :)

#1 Madison Snow Angel

 

#2 Kiley's version of Ring around the Rosy

# 3 Mickey's Breakfast

 

#4 Caught in the act

#5 Ella Face

 

#6 Kiley's ABC's-sort of

Disconnected

Being a stay-at-home mom definitely has it's perks.  Everyday is like a weekend, I get to spend all day with my kids and be there for all the firsts, school parties, field trips, etc. I really do cherish these days and know that I am never going to get them back and I will look back in years and say how quickly they went by and what I wouldn't give to just be back in these days.

However, just with it's perks and everyday feeling like the weekend, there is also never a day off.  I don't get a day off when I am feeling sick.  I don't get a day off when I just need a mental health day--not like I used to do that when I was working :)  I don't get to sit down with co-workers over lunch and just decompress.  I don't get to do the Friday happy hour.  My day doesn't start at 8 and end at 5.  I don't even have the commute (which yes I know many people hate) to just sit and listen to music or make some phone calls. 

Sometimes, I just feel disconnected.  I spend all day with a 2-year-old and 1-year-old so you can imagine that my time is not my own.  I am constantly doing something for someone else.  And while there is constantly noise in the house and things going on, it also feels a bit lonely.  You can imagine that conversations with a 2-year-old aren't all that in-depth.  I don't ever get to talk on the phone because the second I would try to have a conversation screaming would ensue in the background or the million questions of who am I talking to and why.  We don't go out to eat too much anymore because taking two little ones who constantly need something to a restaurant by myself just isn't feasible.  We can't go to most stores because either they don't have double shopping carts and I while Kiley could walk, she loves the cart and always wants to ride and Ella just can't be trusted to walk.  The only place we really go on a regular basis is the gym because I can get the girls in, drop them off at daycare, and then spend a few hours by myself, working out--but even then, when surrounded by others, I still feel a bit lonely. 

I must say that generally I am happy with our move to the suburbs, but one thing that I do miss about the city was that I could always look out the window and see people walking down the street at any time of day.  I could go out for a short walk which didn't feel so silly--here it seems a little odd to get everyone all geared up to walk down the driveway and back.  We also lived right across the street from a park which even on cold days, usually had some people there.  While life in the suburbs does have it's perks, it can also feel a bit lonely at times.  I don't have friends that I can just call up and ask if they want to take a cab and meet for a drink for an hour if I have had a rough day.  Being stuck in the house the past couple of days with sick kids really has opened my eyes to how disconnected and lonely it can be in suburbia.  And while I am trying to learn to say no, I also need to learn how to stay connected.  I need to learn how to connect with new friends and make plans to meet up.  I need to learn to schedule time for myself and really realize just how important that time is for me.  I need to learn to put myself out there every once in a while and do things that are out of my comfort zone so that I can stay connected.  I need to learn that I can't always say no or these feelings of disconnectedness will continue to grow.  This is all a learning curve of things that they don't teach you in school and while there are plenty of self help books out there, it's not the same for everyone.  There are no right or wrong answers, it just learning how to live! 

Race #1 of the year, Chi-Town Big Game 10K

I have to recap my first race of the year before I forget all about it.  Yesterday was definitely one of those days.  Sick kids = crabby/whiny kids, so nothing seemed to really get accomplished yesterday and by the end of the day, I was DONE, so sorry for the lack of post.  I needed time to sit on the couch and relax!

Anyways, back to the race.  The forecast, oh a balmy 14 degrees, with wind, and light flurries.  Now, you may think this sounds terrible, but I actually think I have turned a corner with my running when I say this--it was beautiful and I loved it.  Don't get me wrong, miles 3-4 seemed pretty long, but overall, I didn't mind running in the weather at all and numerous times told myself how awesome it was.  I know--CRAZY!!!

As you know, I don't really run for a time so much, but I definitely finished in the 1:06 area which is pretty consistent with my 11 minute mile. I really should get myself a Garmin so I can track my distance and time, and how cute is this pink and white one, so if anyone wants to send me gifts, this would be a good one :) Like I said, I am by no means fast, but I can feel myself getting stronger with each race I run (and enjoying it a little bit more) so I consider it a success and can't wait for my next run in a couple of weeks.  Hopefully the weather will be a little bit nicer, fingers crossed. The one thing I just don't know if I can do is running in rain.  That just still really doesn't sound like fun to me. 

Overall, I thought that the race was fun, really well run by the orgainzers, and they had hot dogs and beer when you finished so what's not to like. 

Start of the race!

And the finish--still smiling, so that's always a good sign right!

Ok, I actually did look up my official race time which was 1:06:25 which was a 10:42 mile pace.  Not too bad considering I was running on snow for a period of time and I am still trying to figure out this whole fueling while running thing.  I definitely needed to fuel earlier.  Lessons learned for #2 of 2013, right?  Next up, the Wacky 10K on March 3rd.

A brain dump 10

I have a bunch of random thoughts today, so I figured I would just lump them all into one lovely TGIF post!

1.  I can't believe the words, "Don't start with me Kiley, or I won't let you clean tomorrow" came out of my mouth today.  Remind me of that in a couple of years when I am begging her to clean her room.

2.  There may or may not have been a day this week when I wasn't really feeling my workout at the gym and was secretly happy when the childcare attendant came to get me out of class.  My child who has not had one accident since she has been potty trained peed all over the slide at the gym and of course it was the first day that I decided not to bring in her backpack with her extra pair of pants.  We faked she had a stomach ache and got out of there for the day.  I should have gone out to get her pants, changed her and gone back to the workout, but that seemed like a lot of work.

3.  We had a hot tub guy come out to fix our hot tub on Monday.  I saw him there.  Well after that he randomly disappeared and never contacted us as to the status of the hot tub which was left in disarray.  Kevin tried calling but never got a response and then the phone was no longer taking calls from any numbers.  He drove up to the store today--yep, they went out of business, yesterday. 

4.  I've been doing some research on what to wear in cold-weather running.  Looks like my days of fair-weather running are behind me.  I have been lucky so far, but the forecast this Sunday is a high of 18 degrees.  Yep, 18. 

5.  It's February 1st, which means a new month for mini-goals.  My goal for this month is to get up before the kids everyday to get my day started before having to jump right into taking care of the girls.  I have done it before and it works so much better, but like most things, it slowly goes to the wayside.  The nice thing about mini-goals is that I give it a month and if I like it, then I can stick with it, if I don't, then it's only a month.

6.  Speaking of goals--I have made it this whole month with no pop.  Just water!  Well, and some wine of course. It's done wonders for my skin.  I actually have started to see a difference. 

7.  I threw in the easiest dinner tonight.  Chicken marinated in italian dressing.  I totally remember my mom making that for me growing up.  Easy peasy is what I needed tonight. 

8.  If you read a lot of magazine like I do and have an I-Pad check out the Next Issue app.  You pay a monthly fee and get access to a ton of magazines.  For $14.99, I have like 100 magazine choices whenever I want them, plus the back issues.  And, no magazines piling up around the house.  Score!

9.  Oh, I lost my first 5 pounds at weight watchers last week!  I was pretty pumped, and then went to see all my girlfriends and snacking on crap all afternoon, but moderation, right?

10.  We already have our menu set for the Superbowl.  Nope, we aren't having a party and we aren't going to one, we are having a Pollack Party and I'm pumped about it!  Just the way I like to watch the game, on the couch, half watching, but mostly reading a magazine or reading blogs :)

Have a great weekend!  I have a bunch of pictures and videos that I need to upload so I promise so more ordinary days pics next week.

Things I'm loving today. . .

1.  The fact that Kiley calls boxers--boxer panties.  So manly, I bet Kevin loves it.

2.  Snow in January.  Yes this may sound weird to actually want snow, but after a day of massive rain, snow seems a little more wintery-one of these days we may even get enough snow to go sledding.

3.  Yogurt covered frozen blueberries.  Dip blueberries in greek yogurt, throw it in the freezer for about an hour, and there you have it, delicious frozen treat.

4.  Seeing my girls fold their hands and pray during music.  Love that they love church and look forward to going every week.

5.  Hearing Kiley say she needs a "ife."  I have no idea why she can't pronounce the kn in knife since she knows how to pronouce her K's.  The other one that always gets her these days is v in elevator--it always comes out sounding like alligator.  Yes, we can take the alligator down to music :)

6.  Cleaning out my closet.  Why is it that getting rid of stuff can be so difficult, yet feel so good at the same time?  I love myself a good purge.  Now onto the girl's closets--that's a little harder for me.

7.  Having dogs that guard the house 24/7.  Except for when they are barking at the wind-yeah that's kind of annoying.

8.  Taking a few minutes during the brief (aka 10 minute) nap-time to have a cup of coffee and read a book. 

9.  This girl. . .

 10.  And This girl. . .

  

Learning to say No

I'm sure that we all have hit times in our lives where there is just too much going on, things get hectic, we get stressed, and we end up not really enjoying anything that we are doing.  I don't think that this just relates to moms, or women, or those who work vs. stay home, I think that it hits everyone at some point in our lives and we have to learn when and how to say no. 

When I first had Kiley and decided to stay home, I wanted to do all the mommy-and-me classes.  No joke, I think that I had Kiley going to some sort of class every morning of the week.  In the city, it was just what you did.  Even if someone had older or younger kids, they would have a babysitter at home full time so they could cycle through taking each kid to their respective activities.  For a while, it was fun and I enjoyed meeting other moms, but after awhile, the days started to get a little exhausting.  Scheduling classes in between naps--sometimes even two activities a day, just started to wear on me and Kiley.   She didn't really want to participate in baby sign language and she wasn't getting much out of baby movement-heck she could barely walk at the time let alone do downward dog.  Music class was just a bunch of babies wandering around the classroom putting the instruments in their mouths while the moms chatted about what they were going to sign up for next.  It got exhausting.  Thankfully, I had Ella so quickly after Kiley that I didn't have a choice but to stop attending mommy-and-me class.  I tried at first to bring Ella along in her carrier, but I soon realized that it was just not worth it.  Kiley didn't participate and Ella was starting to get to the age where she was not cool with sitting in her carrier sleeping while her sister got all of my attention.  So, I slowly pulled out of most classes and structured activities.  I still tried to make the occasional playgroup but even those were tough to make with two little girls on two different schedules, let alone just the sheer effort of getting out the house with both kids and all of their stuff. 

Then we decided to move and most of our time was taken up by cleaning, house showings, and house searching--and stressing over the move process.  Then we come to this year where we have moved, we finally feel settled and I have more time on my hands again.  At first, I tried to really acclimate myself to the community and really get into a bunch of things, and once again, at first I enjoyed it and was thrilled to have stuff on my calendar again.  Birthday parties, women's club meetings, book clubs, etc.  But, once again, I hit a wall.  I had too much jam packed into the weekends and on week nights I was racing off as soon as Kevin would get home to run of to some meeting or another.  When the girls were at school, I would run my errands like a crazy lady and not even enjoy the couple hours I had free from kids.  I wasn't enjoying much of what I was doing anymore because there was just simply to much going on. 

So, this year, one of my goals has been to learn to say no.  To be more thoughtful in what I sign up for, volunteer for, rsvp to, and so on.  My girls don't need to be in every activity under the sun.  To be honest, they aren't in anything other than a music class and school right now and some days that even feels like a lot.  Granted, I want to get them into some activities, but as they get older, I need to remember that one or two things a season is plenty--running from one thing every night will not work for me or my family.  I need to take a hard look at the things I do for "fun" and really determine if they are fun and allowing me to de-stress or are they causing me more stress.  And one of the biggest things that I have had to learn is don't schedule too much into a day or week or weekend.   Yes, we were invited to two birthdays in one day, but we don't have to be at both, it's ok to say no.  A friend called and needed a sub for her meals on wheels--I could have been crazy and tried to make it work, but in the back of my mind, I knew it wouldn't work and would only cause me more stress.  I found out about a committee meeting for women's club that was scheduled on a night that I already had my haircut scheduled for, previously, I would have texted my hairdresser to change so I could figure out a way to do both, but I have realized that sometimes I just have to say no, I already have plans. 

I by no means have this all figured out, and I know that it is going to be a work in progess as the girls get older and more and more stuff comes our way.  I have to prioritize and while priorities may change over time, I know that simply having too much on my plate stresses me out, yet at times I still try to pile more and more stuff on.  So in hopes of leading a more peaceful 2013, I am learning to say no or as Ella would say, No, No, No and wag her finger at you :)

My how the times have changed!

I'm pretty tired after a jam packed weekend, but I just had to share one photo before retreating to bed for the night--yes, don't laugh, I do normally go to bed around 8 or 8:30, I like my sleep :)  On Saturday, my college girlfriends and I got together for a mini reunion which is always so fun to see everyone and catch up--but add 9 kids to the mix, and you have yourself a PARTY!!!!  This was the first time that we have gotten all the kids together and it just goes to show what a difference 5 years can make.  Nine kids, 5 and under, I'd say we've been busy :) It was awesome to see everyone, but definitely a lot different when you are trying to chase your kids around while pretending like you are back in college.  I was so tired last night, I totally crashed when I got home--yep, even earlier than my usual 8:30 bedtime :)

Fitness Friday

Brrrr, it has been cold around here and I am longing for summer--I would even take Spring at this point.  I have realized that having a pool covered up out back is awesome in the summer, but a real big tease in the midst of below zero temps.  And our hot tub isn't even working right now so that's not an option.  I know cry me a river, right.  So, what other way to long for summer than talk about getting swim suit ready!

I have been following weight watchers this month and it is going pretty well, I (fingers crossed) am going to weigh in with my first 5 pound weight loss tomorrow.  I was .2 away last week, so I have to figure that I at least lost .2 pounds this week.  I have done pretty well in the eating department, but would still love to cut some out some of the processed food that we have in the house.  We have been much better with having fruits and veggies for snacks, and I must say the key to eating them is to cut and prepare them as soon as I get home from the grocery store.  It's definitely a lot more work than just running to the pantry to get a snack, but I have definitely felt better and I am not craving sugar as much as I was before, so that's a start!

In terms of fitness, I have always been pretty good about getting to the gym so that isn't too difficult for me.  I am trying to incorporate so different classes into my workout schedule to vary things up a bit.  One class that I am loving right now is called Centergy.  I think I talked about it before, but it is a mix of yoga, pilates, barre type stuff set to music.  The reason I never liked yoga or pilates before was due to the lack of good music--well this hits the spot for me.  I also tried Group Power this week--I think other places it is call Body Pump or something similar.  It basically a total body weight class with a barbell--again set to music.  I NEED good music to be motivated--well and someone telling me what to do, so these classes are fitting the bill.  I know some people don't enjoy group classes, but I have found that I feed off of the energy of the people around me and it's like doing a trainer telling me what to do and I don't have to think about it.  If you haven't tried any group classes, try one, you just might like it. 

The other staples of my routine are spinning and running.  Back to the classes--my gym now offers an AWESOME class called Pedal and Pump.  Basically it is a mix between spinning and then every 3 songs or so, we pick up hand weights and do weights while still spinning (at a slower pace :))  It burns a ton of calories because your heart rate stays up the entire class.  I haven't taken a SoulCycle class before--the class that Kelly Ripa swears by and she is crazy fit, but it seems like it would be similar to this class so hopefully I will see the same (ok, probably not the same), but similar results.

In terms of running, I am trying to get in one run a week focusing on speed training.  Like I have said before, I am not fast, and I am not running races to beat times or anything, but I'm sure that I could go a little faster if I trained a little bit with some speed work.  I am going to give it a try.  I'll report back on how it goes--let's just hope I don't fall off the treadmill trying to go faster.  I've heard that treadmill injuries are on the rise :)

Do you have any group classes that you love?
What does your fitness routine look like?

I am also thinking that I would like to do some shakes/smoothies.  I got a new blender this week.  I know, exciting stuff again so I want to do some more protein shakes and it's a good way to get some more fruits and veggies in.  Any thoughts on protein powders?  I am finding that I really need some more protein when I am done working out or I am super hungry the rest of the day.  The problem that I have though is that all the protein bars are really high in points.  Thoughts?

Alright, well that's all for Fitness Friday.  We have a fun, busy weekend ahead which I am looking forward to after a couple of lazy weekends.  Whoo hoo for babysitters!!!!!

The conversations you never thought you would have. . .

Oh to have a 2, almost 3-year-old, brings on some very interesting (and lengthy) conversations on topics that you just wish you didn't have to discuss.  Take for instance, my 20 minute conversation on what is going to happen to the roadkill raccoon that Kiley saw in the street coming out of the gym today.   What happened mommy? Who is going to pick it up mommy? Was it an accident? What happened to his face mommy? Who is going to wipe his face mommy? Was it a car or a truck that hit it? How did it happen? On and on and on and on. . . .Now, I don't want to lie to her, but after awhile of me saying, I don't know how it happened, you get to the point where you just don't want to discuss roadkill anymore.  Then we get to picking up Ella--and guess what--the whole roadkill story all over again, with more questions.  I don't know what I am going to do when they are both talking and having these conversations :) 

It is pretty comical the stuff that comes out of her mouth these days, such as when we passed the Hampton Inn yesterday and she pointed it out saying Grandma and Papa live there--that's Arizona.  Granted they stayed there one time this past summer and how she remembers that, I have no idea, but guess we will have to start working on a little geography lesson.

God love her, she keeps me on my toes, and I am thankful everyday for her--roadkill questions and all :)

One of Kiley's favorite books

It seems only fitting that I share one of Kiley's favorite books with you today.  This is a totally random book that I got from the dollar section of Target years ago and it quickly became a favorite. You know one of those books you hate to read, but yet, your child always seem to pick it out.  Yep, that's this one for me.  Don't get me wrong--I don't dislike the content of the book, it's just after reading it day and and day out for the past couple of years, I am kind of over it.  But, I didn't mind reading it today.  Kind of made sense!

Hey, maybe some day my girl will be President.  You never know!!!

Judgement

Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be quite hard on people.  I expect a lot from them and get disappointed when they don't live up to my expectations.  This isn't something that I am proud of and I would generally say that it can be a pretty big flaw for myself.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm just as hard on myself  which makes living up to my own expectations pretty tough and I can be known to put myself through the ringer every now and then.  And while I like to put a nicer spin on it by saying that I'm just expect a lot from people, the reality is, which is tough to say, is that I am judgmental.  Now that I have become more aware of my personality flaw, it's amazing how often thoughts of judgement pop up throughout the day. In the past week, there have been tons of stories on the news where I have judgements on the people are the centers of the stories/scandals.  How could he say that she was his girlfriend without ever meeting her?  How could he spend years lying and feeling ok accepting medal after medal knowing he was a cheat?  How could his wife know that he was cheating and not turn him in?  Question and question is just really a bunch of judgements.  I like to think that I would know what I would do in these situations.  We all hope that we would do the "right" thing, but who is to say what is the "right" thing.  As I have spent more time over the past couple of months joining and becoming part of our new church, I am also trying to look at situations a little differently.  Looking at situations/people without judgement, knowing that it isn't my place to judge, and realizing that my judgment doesn't matter.  No one, other than myself, cares how I judge a situation.  How I see it can be very different than how someone else sees it.  What I would do may be very different than what someone else would do-and who am I to say what is right and what is wrong.  It's tough to change my perspective on how I view things as thoughts of judgement often pop into my mind, but I have also found comfort in this change of thought pattern.  I don't have to waste time or energy over analyzing a situation, and I don't have to be disappointed because someone didn't live up to my expectations.  I find comfort in something that a much older and wiser lady from my bible study group once said, "It's not my place to judge anyone. Only God knows the path that each of us is on, and only he can know if we haven't followed the path that he has laid for us."

Some thoughts on running

So, every day-time talk show I turned on today was in full Lance Armstrong discussion mode, which got me thinking, and somehow I ended back at running.  I know--random, but it does make a little bit of sense--well at least to me it does. 

So, let's be clear on one thing.  I am not a good runner.  I'm slow, I don't have very good form, and I haven't even been running for very long.  On a whim last year, I decided to sign up for a half-marathon because a friend was doing it.  Everything that I have heard about running, is that it is mostly mental and if you train, anyone can do it.  Sounds simple enough, right?  Yes, anyone can run.  My two-year-old can run--and sometimes (ok, a lot of the times) can outrun me.  But, to be good at running, now that takes skill and practice and training and willpower and stamina and the list goes on and on. 

Ok, so again you ask, how did you get on this subject from Lance Armstrong.  Well, I got to thinking at how I want my girls to see what's important in sports and athletics--which led me to dig a little deeper into why I run.  I don't run to be first, I don't run to beat any certain time, I don't run for money, I do it because I enjoy it (well, I enjoy it when I'm done :))  I train and work hard with no need for anyone's admiration or respect.  Sure, it's nice to get a good job from someone when I finish and to hear people motivating me along the way, but primarily I do it for myself.  I have no idea what my girls are going to be interested in in terms of sports or activities, but one thing is for sure, I want them to do something they enjoy.  I don't want to pressure them to be the best.  I don't want them to feel like they have to win a game or be the fastest.  I don't want them to worry about being in the front of the formation if they dance.  I just want them to enjoy what they are doing and work hard.  I don't want them to ever cheat to get ahead or have an advantage over someone else.  I don't want them to feel like they would ever be disappointing me if they aren't the best, or even good.  I just want to see them enjoy what they are doing and do the best that they possibly can with the gifts that they have been given.

As I cross each finish line, I realize that I am not the best, middle of the pack if I am lucky--more like back of the pack most of the time, but I am enjoying it and I am trying my best. I am putting in the work and in the end, I am content knowing that I am able to just finish the race.  I wonder if Lance Armstrong would want the same for his children, or if he holds them to some unattainable standard of perfection.  That it indeed setting someone up for failure, and I don't ever want my children to feel like failures.  Even someone who has tried and come in dead last, did more than the person that didn't even try and that is the message about sports that I want to convey to my girls.  So, my final thought on running I guess is, while I may come in dead last, I still worked hard to get to last place--I still put in the same miles as those that won the race, it just took me a little longer :)

Kids do the darndest things

Like trying to swipe the credit cards in the computer like you swipe them at the store, only to get them somehow stuck in the CD-rom drive.  All of this without me knowing, so imagine the amount of time spent looking for said cards, then when I ask Kiley, she immediately points to the computer.  I continue to be a little confused, except then she point to the CD drive, so of course, I open it--and nothing.  I figure she must be wrong and forgotten what she did with the cards, but nope, she was right, they were just really stuck in there.  Luckily, with a little help for again my more patient and level-headed husband, credit and debit cards were rescued.  Oh this girl, she can never remember 4 in counting to 10, but she seems to somehow figured out that you need to swipe the cards for it to do something.  This girl is almost too observant for her own good.  Moral of the story--don't give this girl a credit card while shopping, who knows how much debt she will rack up :)

Ordinary Days

So, I did a little bit better on getting the camera out last week.  I didn't get everyday, but baby steps, right? Here's to what I hope can be a weekly segment--as long as I make sure to get my camera out a couple times a week-so here you have Ordinary Days, Week 1!   

Doggy on the mend!

50 degrees in January-we will  take it!

I'm sure I will be seeing this look a lot more in about 5-7 years.

I know, I'm so mean, trying to make her eat carbs. Ha!

Potty-training 101

I think that I probably should have signed up for the higher level potty training class because let's just say I had no idea.  We have tried to potty train a couple of times now and life seemed to get in the way in some way or another.  Right after Kiley turned 2, we tried for a couple of days, but I think that she was just not ready.  I was basically training myself just to take her to the bathroom when I would remember--sometimes she would go, sometimes not.  But, after a few days, I realized that maybe it was better just to hold off instead of taking her to the bathroom a million times only to have her have an accident as we are walking out of the bathroom.

The second time we tried it was right when we were moving and I really thought we had it, and we probably did, but like I said life got in the way, I got frustrated and weI gave up.  It was too much going on at once.  Then we had a big set-back when Kiley no longer wanted anything to do with the potty.  Wouldn't wear underwear anymore, didn't want the pull-ups, and wouldn't even sit on the potty.  So we took another break.

Then over winter break, I decided it was time to try again.  So, Saturday morning we got up, really excited after having talked about saying bye bye to diapers the night before.  Yep, a major meltdown occurred just even putting on the underwear.  Oh the tears, I tell you.  I wanted to give up right then and there, but Kevin, the voice of reason, somehow convinced her to put the underwear on--and by somehow I mean that he had to put underwear over Ella's diapers to make it look like everyone now had to wear underwear.  So day 1, we actually got the underwear on--didn't actually sit on the potty, but we made progress.  At the end of the day, I talked up  putting on the undies again the next day.  I was excited, Kiley was excited, I was all like, "Alright, we got this, day 1 down of the 3 day potty training." Um, yeah right, three days, I don't think so.

The next morning, same meltdown putting on the undies.  And when I say meltdown, I don't just mean by Kiley.  I myself had my own potty-training meltdown telling Kevin I just didn't know what I was doing and she was never going to be able to go to three-year-old pre-school.  Yes, I was being totally dramatic which was not making things worse.  This potty-training stuff is hard!!!  So, eventually we got the undies on again, but again the refusal of actually using the potty.

Day after day, getting the undies on got a little easier, but we still weren't making progress on actually going.  To give you an idea, there were so major tears on day three of not dropping the kids off to swim if you know what I mean.  We needed help!  So who did we turn to--oh that's right, we turned to Elmo.  Kevin found some Elmo goes potty app for the Ipad. By Friday morning after playing with the app for a while, no joke, something clicked.  Well, and maybe finally figuring out that she would get a gummy bear if she used the potty, but finally something clicked--not on day three like I had read, but on day 6 so not bad.

No joke, we haven't, knock on wood, had an accident since then and she actually tells me when she has to go.  So my only words of advice is have patience and try to avoid your own meltdowns.  If it weren't for my more patient and level-headed husband, Kiley would probably be back in diapers and I would be back to reading more books on potty-training and how easy it is in three days.  Reality--not easy and takes longer than three days!

Insecurities

I kind of thought by the time I reached adulthood that I would be free of insecurities.  I thought that being free of the high school gossip and college drama, by the time I had a husband and kids, and spending my days home in the comfort of my own home most of the day, I would shed any insecurities I had.  I was wrong.  I guess we all have our insecurities and they pop up in different times, places, and events in our lives. 

After having two babies via c-section and now trying to lose the weight, I have insecurities about my body.  I  know that the scar and stretchmarks and extra pounds have a story to tell.  Without them I wouldn't have my beautiful daughters, but with them, I don't feel as toned and in shape as I once used to.  I see other mom's who seem to just bounce back and look better than ever before, and I am insecure.  "How does she look like that?" crosses my mind.  I wish I didn't feel this way, and I wish I have more willpower to not compare myself to others, but it's hard.  I look in the mirror and things just aren't the same.  I guess that comes with getting older as well and things are naturally going to shift and change, but knowing the reality of it doesn't make the insecurities go away. 

Then comes the insecurities of being a parent.  I went to years and years of schooling to do a job that I was at for six year.  My current job, stay-at-home mom/wife, I had no training.  You think that things are going to come naturally and then the insecurity sets in when you realize you have no idea what you are For instance, potty training--no idea.  I read the books and thought I had a clue before we started--of course, those things didn't work for my child and I was left feeling insecure and confused.  Then I compare myself to other mom's and feel even worse.  It seems like they have it all together.  They have time to clean and cook and do fun crafts and teach their kids at home.  Me, on the other hand, there are days when I am just trying to make it through the day.  Days where I do put on a few too many episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to give myself a little downtime (and let's be honest, in that time I'm not using it effectively to clean or cook). 

The hard thing is as we get older, no one is really there to cheer us on in day to day life.  No one is constantly telling us we are doing a good job.  I kind of miss those days of high school when I could get a test back and see for myself with the grade on the paper whether or not I did a good job.  I miss a coach telling me they could see the hardwork that I was putting in.  I even sometimes miss going to work and people listening to me in a meeting because they value what I have to say or a student say thanks for listening. 

I must admit that sometimes this lack of feedback leads to my insecurities.  It's hard to look inside ourselves and tell ourself that we are doing a good job or praise ourselves for the 5 pounds that we have lost, but it's that internal motivation that is going to keep us going.  In keeping with trying to improve on some key areas of my life, I really would like to shed some of these insecurities and be comfortable with who I am at this given point in time.  It may not be at a weight that I love when I look at the scale, and I may do things differently as a parent that I ever said I would, but this is who I am--right now.  Now, there is always room for growth and change, but if I can't be comfortable with who I am today, then I can't grow, I can't change.  So for today, I will get out there and do the best that I can.  I will try to eat healthy, and get to the gym, I will try to engage my children and do fun activities, but if I slip up-it's ok too because I know that in spite of my insecurities, I have security of my family and friends to fall back on.

Where has my baby gone?

In the last three weeks, my baby has gone from having a pacifier, taking naps, and wearing diapers to now no pacifier, no naps, and being potty trained.  Granted, it was winter break, so we were trying to tackle a bunch of these things when she didn't have school, but it still  makes me a little sad.  I kind of miss her asking for her paci, and I won't change another one of her diapers, and major bummer--I don't have a nice stretch of time while she is sleeping (and we all know she really should still be taking a nap based on her behavior at the end of the day yesterday).  But, I know this is my job as mom to help shape her into an independent, self-sufficient adult.  Although, I can still cringe each time she goes to get her own glass of water knowing full well that she will probably spill it all over the floor right now :)

Kiley Newborn--photo by Katie Ryan Photography